Bullying & Cyber Bullying
Back in the old days, (Yes I am old enough to remember a time before the internet) if we were bullied at school by another child, sure we had to put up with their teasing, name calling, physical abuse etc. during the school day and maybe even on the way to and from school, but once we walked in the door at home, generally speaking the bullying stopped there. We may still have felt the effects of what we had suffered throughout the day, but it did not continue into the evening and through the walls of our own home.
Today, thing are very different. The child, who is bullied at school and on the way to and from school, can also expect the abuse to continue well into the night within the supposed safety of their own home through the use of social media. Twitter, Snapchat, Facebook, Texting and even emails, just to name a few are all means a bully can use to continue to harass a victim, long after the school bell has rung for the day.
It is fine for people to say “Just turn off your devices” or “Block the bully” but reality says this is not as easy as it sounds. Children like to be connected to their friends, to know what is going on within their friendship circle; it is the norm these days. The other issue is blocking a bully, in theory is a good idea, however children these days are tech savvy, block one id and you’ll find they start up another or hack into an id the victim is already friends with. If the bully is determined enough, there are plenty of ways and means to get around these things. Even if they cannot contact the victim directly there is nothing to stop those wanting to spread rumours about the victim on social media after school hours. So the victim, who has take the proffered advice and been off social media all night, arrives at school the next morning, having no idea that overnight some vicious rumour has been circulated about them and by 9am the rumour has been expanded upon and is seen as fact by many of their peers. The victim is starting the day on the back foot before they even reach the school gate.
Youth mental health expert, Dr. Michael Carr-Gregg, said on Tuesday 13th January 2018 on ABC News that “children under the age of 12 should be banned from using social media” * In order for this to happen we need parents to step up and actually parent their children. As a mother myself, I know exactly how hard it is to say “NO” to a child. However, we need to remember that we are here to parent our children, not to be their best buddy. And sometimes doing that parenting means we have to say NO to things that are going to make our children upset. But in the same way that we say “NO” to a child that is about to put their hand in a fire, we need to say “NO” to a child that wants a social media account that they are neither old enough nor mature enough to operate.
What is even more important is that in saying “NO” to our children we are potentially stopping them from having to deal with the effects of cyber bullying or from becoming a cyber bully themselves.
Written by Kathrine Carton B.Coun.